Officially Disclosed!

Pagkalibing ng lola ko umalis ako ng bahay to go to mall.. Mag aliw aliw..
Nagkita kita kami ng mga POZ FRIENDS ko sa Greenbelt 3..
Enjoy yes medyo nakalimutan ko mga pangyayari at medyo sumaya ako..


When I came home kala ko okay na lahat..

Nagulat ako when I saw my mom waiting for me and hawak nya yung brown envelope na medyo familliar sakin (Doon nakalagay yung mga documents na HIV POSITIVE AKO)


sabi nya "Nak may gusto ka bang sabihin sakin?"

sagot ko "About san ma?"

inilabas nya yung laman nung envelope... "Ano to nak? bakit di ka nagsasabi sakin?"

sagot ko "Ma sorry! Sorry kung inilihim ko sa inyo lahat yan.. Ma di ko naman balak itago to habang buhay eh! naghahanap lang ako ng tyempo.. namatay si papa nung May 3, naospital si ate sa panganganak anlaki ng gastusin, namatay si lola August 31 tapos magsasabi ako sayo ng ganyan? Ma, alam kong patung-patong problema mo ayoko nang dagdagan.. ayoko maging pabigat sayo.."

sagot nya, "Pero bakit ganun nak? hindi biro ang lagay mo ngayon.. Ano bang kasalanan ko sa Diyos at pinaparusahan nya ko ng ganito.. Nawala na tatay mo nawala pa si Nanay isusunod ka pa? hindi ko kakayanin kapag pati ikaw nawala pa"

"Ma yun na nga eh kaya ayokong sabihin! kasi baka sabihin mo pinaparusahan ka ng Diyos, Ma hindi ko naman ginustong magkaron ako nito eh.. Hindi ko masabi sainyo kasi nahihiya ako at natatakot na wala akong naitulong sa Family natin naging ganito pa ko.. Natatakot akong mawala ako na walang nai-contribute man lang sa family natin... pero Ma! sinu ba nagsabi sayong mawawala ako? Kaya nga lumalaban ako diba? Lumalaban ako kahit nahihirapan ako sa sitwasyon kong itinatago ko to sa inyo"

sagot ni mama, "Lika nga dito nak, payakap nga.... LALABAN TAYO HA? SAMA SAMA TAYONG LALABAN... WAG KANG SUSUKO NAK AH? KASI AKO DI DIN AKO SUSUKO.. KASAMA MO KONG LALABAN.. LALABAN TAYO BASTA KUMAPIT KA LANG.. BASTA KAHIT ANUNG NARARAMDAMAN MO AT KAILANGAN MO SABIHIN MO LANG SAKIN GAGAWAAN NATIN NG PARAAN..

Umiyak ako YET sobrang natuwa kasi pinalakas nya ang loob ko sobra.. iba ang pakiramdam pag natanggap ka na sa pamilya nyo kung ano ang sitwasyon mo..

makes me down!

I'm so sorry to all of those readers who have passed my blogs.. I have retrieved my blog password already just NOW! I forgot my password dahil na din siguro sa sunod sunod na problems na dumating


I just wanna share this to all of you..

Last month, September 13, 2012, Nilibing Grandmother ko.. She died last Aug.31 and nagpaalam pa sya sakin nun..

Naalala ko I went to their house to configure a Wi-Fi kabitan sila ng internet and telephone line.. While I was fixing the wires, my Grandmother said,

"Nak penge nang pera"

sabi ko "Nay, wala pa nga eh bukas pa po ako babayaran ni Ate Vimalym pag naikabit ko na tong internet at telepono nyo"

"bibili lang sana akong rambutan nagugutom ako"

sagot ko "bukas nay bibilihan kita ng French Fries sa Jollibee pagkabayad na pagkabayad sakin ni Ate Aying"

Maya maya natapos ko na ikabit yung wires.. Umupo ako sa tabi nya and I watched TV.. Bigla syang tumingin sakin tapos niyakap nya ko..
sabi nya "Anak, napapagod na ko, gusto ko nang magpahinga"

sagot ko, "Nay, wag naman kayo magsalita ng ganyan.. kala ko ba hihintayin mo ko maka-graduate tapos ikaw magsasabit ng medal sakin sa stage pagkagraduate ko tapos nagsasalita ka ng ganyan"

sabi nya, "Sorry anak.. patawarin mo ko sa mga nagawa kong pagmamalupit sa inyo noon, sorry kasi hindi ko na matutupad yung sinabi ko sayo na yon"

"Nay, alam ko namang napapagod ka na at nahihirapan sa kalagayan mo eh (Diabetic 79yrs old putol left foot) pero Nay wag naman ganito.. angsakit eh.."

"sorry apo"

Niyakap ko sya tas sinabi ko "Sige Nay kung nahihirapan ka na talaga sige po... magpahinga ka na.. tandaan mo lagi mahal na mahal kita"

Then umuwi na ko samin dinasal ko that nigh sana wag na nga mahirapan si lola pero wag naman biglaan..
Nagising ako nang maaga 8AM i went to Handyman to buy a Cordless Telephone na gagamitin ko para ikabit ko na telephone line nila... pagdating ko sa bahay nila,

"Ate Vimalyn akin na ikakabit ko na yung telepono nyo.. eto na oh! dali may bibilihin pa ko (YUNG FRENCH FRIES)"

sagot sakin, "Mamaya mo na ikabit andami pang tao sa taas eh! di ka pa ba galing dun? di ka pa ba umaakyat dun?"

sagot ko, "Hindi pa bakit anu ba meron dun? Nagpa-house blessing na ba sila?"

sabi nya, "Hindi mo pa ba alam? patay na si Lola mo!"

umakyat ako sa taas nagmamadali ako when I saw her on her bed nakahiga na sya ng diretso and she was smiling.. I cried.. "Nay bakit di mo ko hinintay? Nandito na yung pambili ko ng French Fries mo oh! andaya mo naman eh! nang iiwan ka eh! may sasabihin pa nga ako sayo eh! (na-HIV POSITIVE AKO)"

------>on her Internment day ako nagburn ng song para sa gagamitin sa Caro.. while I was picking up songs to burn naiyak ako when I've heard "Ugoy ng Duyan" #1 sa list ng song

What is HIV for you?

For me, it's just a 3 Letter Acronym that can't defeat me, can't change who I am..

Even if I have the virus inside me, the virus can't have me..

Yes the first time I knew that I've got it, I feel that my life is now worthless, a garbage and a very sad life..

After a few days when i've got new friends (Poz Friends), I felt that I am still who I am.. HIV doesn't change me.. It just changes a littlebit of my Lifestyle but my life itself does not..

Living with HIV is not different with the people who doesn't live with the virus..

Yes! Who knows when it will be cured.. I'm still waiting for that time to come, but if not? I can't do anything about it.. Maybe God planned this for me.. God put me this way for me to know the essence of life and health that God has given to us..

Updated my Twitter account..

I just got a new username for my twitter account since madami na ang co-pozzies.. Very common if i still use "iamPOSITIVEguy" they are all using PinoyPositive, PinoyPozzie, PozziePinoy, iamPositive, iamHIV..

From "iamPOSITIVEguy" i replace it as "BabyStarPozzie / @R12_AGS"

Since my patient code is R12-AGS =)

RITM's Self EmpowermentTraining!

Super thankful talaga ako sa pag attend sa SET na to.. Andami kong natutuhang bago at magpahalaga sa sarili ko.. Lalong lumakas loob ko..


It makes me feel like i'm living normal.. My batch is August 25&26, 2012..

To all pozzies out there that is not yet experiencing SET i highly recommend you to attend Self Empowerment Training.. It helps a lot to me and to others who still having a hanging questions on their mind..

You can also open up to them just to clear you mind.. You can cry freely if you feel like that is the one you meed for you to feel comfortable..

Suh a great experience! Contact Tita Beth and reach her at 09178360312

Dont miss your opportunity to experience this kind of moment.. Just give them your Saturday and Sunday you dont have to pay for anything.. Foods and hotel accomodations are free! All you have to do is just go to RITM Satellite located at Leon Guinto St. Near Mini Stop Quirino..

My first CD4

August 17, 2012 I went to RITM to have my first ever baseline test..

Actually it's not yet finished.. But I already have my CD4 so I am very happy to share it with you guys that my initial CD4 is 488! =)

I am going to make it higher next time! FIGHT!! =)

THE PROMISE

Actually I am the one who first give up and not Genesis.. But I have a valid reason.. It seems like he don't really understand my disease.. He just keep on making me mad, stress and not making me happy whenever I am depressed..

Yes at first I feel I was very lucky to have him.. But now it's different.. It seems like all his promises was totally vanished.. Each day that passed we always have an arguement and it leads me na di makatulog sa gabi wheneer I think about our arguement..

I prefer to stop this now.. I still have my family to love me and I am still young.. Maybe someone will walk to my life to make me happy and won't let me to be like this anymore... Haaaay I don't wanna cry anymore..

Hanggang dito nalang :(